Hezbowlas in AMF Tourney Action
TALLAHASSE, FL-
The Dispropor-
tionate Strikes took first place in the Leon County Holy Rollers Tournament on Saturday night with a convincing victory over the Hezbowlas. Perennial favorites, both teams were well-funded, with the Disproportionate Strikes sponsored this year by Hassidic HaCedars, an exclusive retirement community situated on Seminole Indian land, and the Hezbowlas sponsored by iRan, a local internet startup that allows registered users to keep track of their jogging times and mileages, as well as buy and sell various new and used items such as uranium.
The turning point in the match came when a member of the Hezbowlas shouted "Noonan" while one of the Disproportionate Strikes was preparing to take his turn. Subsequently, a member of the Strikes wailed a member of the Hezbowlas in the groin with a 16 pound bowling ball. Three of Hezbowlas' fans and a popcorn vendor were also wailed in the groin with bowling balls. The cycle of antagonism and retribution escalated from there, but the Strikes were able to hold on for the victory, as they have each year since the Holy Rollers event was established in 1948.
Following World War II, the introduction of the automated pin spotter by AMF in 1946 led to a boom in the popularity of bowling. According to the Bowling & Billiards Institute of America, bowling is currently the number one participatory sport in the United States.