Fined By Homeowners' Association
There is trouble in paradise. Or in this case, Aspen Springs at South Acres, an aspenless, springless development of mid-priced condos and detached dwellings situated on north-facing lots of up to 0.13 acres.
Last Thursday, homeowner Shawna Kolowitz was fined $150 by the Aspen Springs at South Acres Homeowners Association (ASSHO) for "outdoor displays, activities, or property which negatively impact the aesthetic atmosphere of the ASSHO Community." Shawna is overweight and favors half-shirts during the summertime.
The homeowners' association called the penalty a "regrettable but necessary action of last resort", citing two registered letters sent to Kolowitz outling the violations and asking that they be corrected and/or discontinued.
When reached for comment on the issue, Kolowitz stated, "Oh... my... god..." and hung up the phone.
Kolowitz's next door neighbor, Charles Foots, was happy with the sanctions leveed. "When I first moved in, I'd have to say that I was a little bitter about paying $135 a month in homeowners' fees just to have a couple Guatamalans weed wack the traffic circle every Wednesday," Foots said. "But in a case like this, it's nice to have that leftover $133 a month. Multiply that by seventy-five homeowners, and that's a lot of legal firepower."
ASSHO lawyer Alan Burnstein agreed, "either we get a court order to have Miss Kolowitz's midriff barred from being bared or we litigate until she runs out of grocery money. Either way, the community wins."
There are more than 250,000 associations in the United States and approximately 50 million people now live in developments governed by homeowners associations.