Ultimate Fighter Sanctioned
For Inadequate Steriod Use

LAS VEGAS, NV-
     Ulitmate fighter Stephan Bonnar was sanctioned by the Ultimate Fighting ChampionshipTM last Saturday night following allegations of discontinued use of steriods, andgrogens, human growth hormone, and other performance-enhancing drugs.  In accordance with the UFC's internal review process, the matter was turned over to Keith "The Governing Body" Jardine who met with Bonnar and, after conducting a series of mostly-naked experiments designed to assess Bonnar's strength, agility, and reactions, found that Bonnar was indeed in violation of the UFC's substance-use policy.

     For this Bonnar's first offense, The Governing Body applied a penalty of one shattered orbital bone surrounding the left eye and a four and one half minute suspension of consciousness. A second offense would carry a minimum six-week suspension of short-term memory without equilibrium.  Subsequent offenses carry sucessively longer suspensions of short term memory and restricted neural privalges. Extreme cases of steriod non-use may result in the fighter being banned from life.  Bonnar said that he was "shocked" by The Governing Body's findings, but stopped short of demanding that he be re-tested.

     The UFC was founded in 1993 as a mixed martial arts tournament with the goal of discovering the world's best fighter. Initially billed as "no holds barred", current rules prohibit grabbing the opponent's clavicle.

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