Thrift Shopper Resents New Dress Code
The Man has
resolved to spend more time in the gym this year. After 5 years as
a UNC employee and a regular patron of the Student Rec Center, I was kicked
out last week for wearing the same pair of old khaki shorts that I’ve always
worn. I was told that, as of this semester, pairs of old khaki shorts
are considered "street clothes" and are not welcome in the SRC. Two
reasons were given for this change in policy. First, the tough street
cotton of from which khaki is woven could wear holes in the vinyl pads
on the equipment. My ass. Yes, my ass would be chaffed to the
bone if this were true. The second reason given was that old khaki
shorts do not allow the range of motion necessary for exercising and are
therefore unsafe.
Shorts that
restrict range of motion are not unsafe, they are uncomfortable-- which
is why no one would wear them to the gym in the first place. My old
khaki shorts are plenty comfortable and, unlike most "workout shorts",
they have pockets that stuff doesn’t fall out of.
A friend of
mine who was wearing old plaid shorts was not approached by the SRC staff.
My shorts were clearly discriminated against on the basis of color and
pattern.
Any doubt
that the SRC’s new policy is completely arbitrary is erased by the fact
that hospital-style scrubs are included on the list of banned clothing.
By the SRC’s own supposed criteria (lack of abrasiveness and range of motion),
scrubs should be their ideal garment, but they are no longer welcome in
the SRC because they are greenish-colored and have a funny V-neck.
The SRC management
should recognize that the difference between scrubs or old khaki shorts
and fancy "workout clothes" is the same as that between bananas and energy
bars, tap water and Gatorade. The difference is marketing and marketing
is for suckers.
If the harassment
continues, I will use a Sharpie to draw a small Nike Swoosh on the left
leg of my cutoff khakis and say they are part of the Agassi Rebel Collection.
The inside-out Fisher Scientific t-shirt and black socks I will say are
part of either the Tiger Woods or Pete Sampras Collection.
As an average
white guy, being asked to leave the SRC because of the color of my shorts
is probably about as bad a case of prejudice backed by well-intentioned
ignorance as I will ever have to endure and, admittedly, it is a completely
trivial one. It is nothing for me to change my shorts, but it still
stings a little. The bright side is that, in this the week of Martin
Luther King Day, it serves as a small reminder of what The Civil Rights
Movement was all about and the residual prejudices far beyond gym shorts
that minorities continue to struggle with today.
It doesn’t
matter what kind of shorts they make us wear to the SRC: the important
thing to remember this MLK Day is that, from Foot Locker to the thrift
shop; khaki, plaid, or hospital-green-- we’re all scrubs on the inside.
This Day in Watsoncrombie History
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