I believe thechildren are the future
Serve them swill and let them heave away
Show them all the pee pee theyposses inside...
    Gordon from Piefer Lab’s little brother, Mini G, was in town last week.  I wasn’t here to see it, but stories of his visit brought back fond memories of the days when a few beers had the power to transform the world into a better place.  Rumor has it that Mini G accosted nearly every female remaining in Chapel Hill for the Thanksgiving holiday with the line, “Hi, I’m Canadian”.  I remember the days when all it took was four or eight beers and one line for the world to be your oyster.  It wasn’t necessarily even a good line, but if the first person you said it to smiled (usually not because they liked the line, but because they were entertained by the fact that they learned to drink in high school and you didn’t) it would be your catch-phrase for the night and it got better each and every time you used it.  By the time the kegs ran out, you would approach people, start to open your mouth, and they would use the line on you.  You didn’t mind when they threw your line back at you like that, in fact it felt good because, although you didn’t seem to recall ever meeting that person before, they were familiar with your work and, no doubt, appreciated it.  It was as close to celebrity as most of us will ever come. If you couldn’t come up with a good catch-phrase, you could do something as simple as wearing empty twelve-pack boxes on your feet, drinking out of a vase, or snacking on pellets of Science Diet.  The next morning you would wake up hangover-free and, like a kid looking through tall grass at an Easter egg hunt, you would search through your fuzzy memories for the delightfully stupid stuff you did the night before.  At the dining hall that day, vague acquaintences would recall your antics, and you would know that you were no longer just one of ten thousand incoming freshman, you were That Guy From That Party.  Your roomate would try to bring you down by talking about how you were acting like an idiot last night and how you pissed sooo many people off, but you paid him no mind because, deep down, you both knew that this was an impossibility and that you had played the crowd just right.
...Let the childrenplastered...remindus how we used to be.
 

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