I finally got
sick just like the rest of you sorry bastards. You get all stressed
out over your finals, you don't sleep, you don't eat right and you all
get sick. You can't live with the fact that I lead a stress-free
life and I'm not sick along with you, so you throw these holiday parties
where hackin', sniffin', nose-wipers prepare and serve me food.
Pot luck? The only lucky ones are the viruses, but I don't care how
paranoid you are, you're not going to walk away from free ham, even if
you're not sure whether it was a glazed ham before the runny-nosed guy
started slicing it.
You can't
knock sickness too much though, because if it weren't for getting sick,
every day would be the same. Think of the last year or so:
you probably have only one generic memory of a day in your life, but you
have a unique memory of each day that you were really sick.
For example, you might remember the time you had the flu two years ago
and you went to Harris Teeter for soup and OJ. You clearly remember
wondering why the cashier gave you a funny look and later, in the
reflection on your car window, noticing a yellow/brown glob on the front
of your seatshirt. You probably only remember half that much total
from the hundreds of times since then that you've been to the grocery store
healthy.
It's like
that local TV commercial for the Chinese buffet that promises you "a dining
experience that will long be remembered". The only reason you would
long remeber a dining experience is if you ate some bad shrimp and you
were throwing up like a repeat pipetter for the next 14 hours.
If everything went well, you would only remember the Chinese buffet one
time and it would go something like this: "what the?! ...raisin bran?,
no... oh right- that seaweed stuff from the lo mein." From that moment
on, all memories of the dining experience would be completely FLUSHED from
your consciousness.
Or think of
all the times you've gone to the bars; they all pretty much blend together,
but what stands out?... That's exactly right: the times when someone
in the bar, maybe even you, vomited. In fact, I would venture
to say that you probably remember distinctly each and every time in your
entire life when you or someone in close proximity to you vomited.
From the kid who threw up pink stuff after recess in second grade, to the
undergrad last Friday night in the alley next to Miami Subs, these are
Kodak moments so vivid that no camera is necessary. Like it or not,
illness is the spice of life. That's why all of us at here
at watsoncrombie.com would like to wish all of you a very special cold
and flu season. Before you stand up and go back to work, don't forget
to give a little of yourself by sneezing on the keyboard. If you
don't feel comfortable giving that much, politely cover your sneeze and
go right back to typing and mousing. That way, this cold and
flu season can be as memorable for everyone else as it has been for you.
"so take the photographs and still frames in your mind
it's something unpredictable and in the end it's right
I hope you had time of your life"
-Green Day
Archive:
Weak in Review 12/1/99
Weak in Review 11/4/99
Weak in Review 10/18/99
Weak in Review 10/05/99
Weak in Review 9/07/99
Weak in Review 8/03/99
Weak in Review 7/26/99
Weak in Review 7/12/99
Weak in Review 7/05/99
Weak in Review 6/20/99
Weak in Review 6/02/99
Weak in Review 5/19/99
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