The Weak in Review 


  • Last Monday I was walking and pulling my sweatshirt on over my head when I ran into a waist-tall metal pole with my groin.

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  • The ice last week caused me to run into a parked truck in the Harris Teeter parking lot.  I hit it kind of hard because I was trying to get up some momentum to mount the small snow pile in what was otherwise a prime parking space, but it didn't leave a mark and the owner didn't care.  If you're going to crash, you should hit a pickup because neither pickup trucks nor pick-up-truck-folk are likely to get bent out of shape.

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  • Rayford, from the Old Man's League softball team, calls pickup trucks "pick-um-up trucks".  I think we should all do the same.

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  • Bars and Churches:  Foes or Bros?  A case study.
    • Church Linda's
    Sunday morning Friday and Saturday night
    Greeted at door by 5'3 usher named Harold Greeted at door by 5'3 bouncer named Benny
    Bibles available in every pew ESPN visible from every booth
    Everyone's singin but me Everyone's smokin but me
    Collection plate guilt from preacher Tip jar guilt from bartender
    Every so often they have communion Every so often Zack orders cheese fries
    Thought-provoking quote printed on back page of bulletin Thought-provoking quote scratched on side wall of restroom
    Embarrassed mother hustles crying baby out back door Embarrassed roommate hustles vomiting Gordon out back door
    When its all over, you realize that sitting on a wooden bench for way too long has somehow made you super-hungry and you eat yourself sick at Time Out  When its all over, you realize that sitting on a wooden bench for way too long has somehow made you super-hungry and you eat yourself sick at Time Out 

    Archive:
    Weak in Review 01/06/00
    Weak in Review 12/20/99
    Weak in Review 12/1/99
    Weak in Review 11/4/99
    Weak in Review 10/18/99
    Weak in Review 10/05/99
    Weak in Review 9/07/99
    Weak in Review 8/03/99
    Weak in Review 7/26/99
    Weak in Review 7/12/99
    Weak in Review 7/05/99
    Weak in Review 6/20/99
    Weak in Review 6/02/99
    Weak in Review 5/19/99

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