Traditionally, the best man has two jobs: first, to hand over the ring at the appropriate time during the ceremony and, second, to deliver a toast at the reception.  Handing over the ring is easy because the priest gives it to you backstage two minutes before you pass it on to the groom.  Coming up with a toast can be a little tougher, but since my brother's wedding was going to be a no-nonsense hitching, I was pretty sure that I wouldn't have to give a toast at all.  Still, in the back of my mind, it was easy to imagine that I would be put on the spot.  Just in case, I prepared two anecdotes: one containing exactly three jokes and the other built around a celebrity impersonation and an in-law look-alike.
        Although most of this never happened, I shall always recall my part in the wedding thusly...